i'm not a monkey in a cage.

yesterday wasn't exactly my day. because there was training. what first got my mood lousy was seeing 2 seniors don't know talk what about me when they see me. the situation was like they walk past me i wave to the one in front then the 2 behind hide behind her and then whisper something. then after we passed each other i looked back they were still saying something looking at me. angry. regardless what they say.

then the pageant thing is also damn fucked up. one whole long story. all the clubbing dancing shaking cat-walking wear heels wear make-up act sexy act bitchy act bimbotic hold hands hold waist wear low low short short reveal as much as possible force everyone to conform kind of things...

i have already lost my eyebrows. they are now in the process of growing back. god knows how long that will take. i'm so angry.

the worst part during training will have people walk by curious see what you are learning. i feel like a chimpanzee taught how to do tricks so that the trainer can put us on stage to entertain the audiences and earn money. especially when all the trainings are in enclosed area with window opening. then we have to do everything the trainer says if not we'll be scolded or disciplined. and if we diligently follow instructions then we will be treated nicely and sweetly.

bitch.

a (no series of) unfortunate event (no s)

somebody bite me. i lost my whole precious pouch that i was willing to spend so much for and loved very much. gone along with it was my giro ezlink card (the 2nd i lost), panasonic vs2 handphone with alot of precious memories and my housekeys. i only reported lost of the 1st 2 items to my mum. the 3rd i thought it would be safer for me not to reveal to her if not i would have lost my head too.

lucky weihong work in starhub before. so he gave me a number to call and i could get a free replacement sim card. wahahahaha~ phew! but then the phone is really lost. so i will be using the old one mama gave us. i'm am so lucky for tt. so now i'm able to use back the same handphone number.

now i'm alone in my hostel room trying to get myself down to studying. i swear i will study hard to make up for my lack of intelligence. and my bank is running out of money at the rate i'm spending money. have to control.

oh yah. 1 more thing. right after i lost my handphone, i sent out an email to everyone i have in my email address book to get their contact numbers. am i glad that people actually did reply and i get really cute ones and concerned ones. peiqi cursed the thief to get rotten hands. haha!~ then there were a few other close ones who wanted to know if i changed number and remind me to update them. keke~ love my friends.

photos again =)

one of the games in hall 12 freshmen orientation camp. 2 photos all of which i look extremely spastic. i asked mel why and she said she dunno. so i concluded i was born with a spastic face.

today went far east for clothes fitting in the evening. ended pretty late so we catch our dinner at nana thai restaurant. then i cant finish the rice so they turn into this...:

i can bite

i felt very lost when i first came to ntu. i thought the feeling will go away soon but up till now i'm still feeling the same... my tutorial class still no friend. lectures i only know seraphine who is in 2 same lectures as me. then the rest i just go alone leave alone walk around school alone. i used to crap alot. now there is no one for me to crap with. its like no one appreciate the art of crapping here. i feel lonely. i feel sad for myself.

and the pageant thing is not getting anywhere. i mean it is fun la when trying on clothes and got sponsors for alot of things. but i just feel like i dont belong. i dont drink and club. but they do and like to do so. and alot of things got clubbing theme which is god-knows-what to me. everyday i come back after 1 worn out with the urge to throw everything i see out of the window.

nvm. i'm so used to the feeling of not fitting in. anyway it was my idea to join this thing. eye-opener.

well. today i bought 2 pairs of shoes total $70. and the stupid person give me the wrong pair of heels which i need more than the neckermann one for the catwalk thing. damn. i feel so darn broke.

another early day tml.

pictures = 1000 words

my makeup on last saturday for the photo shoot at far east =)

look at the back of my head... it's like a rooster arse. cuck-a-doodle-doo

this is a stall i saw at lao par sa today when i went there for dinner. i never know i sell sugar cane juice lor until today sia. my chinese name is 圆圆。~LOL

and lastly, ivan in his uniform which he says is the only chance he got to wear it. so i took a picture =P

杨丞琳的歌

ok ok the following are excerpts i like from songs in her latest album. parts and parcel of the song but i felt they speak it all. the songs are nice. so if you haven listen to any yet it's a loss la.

庆祝：

当年的你什么都怕 怎么会变成了警察
你不是说永远不嫁 暂时生了个胖娃娃
我们都在偷偷的长大 把简单都变的复杂
当初最简单的梦就别忘啦 !! 喔~鸣~喔~

每个梦都得到祝福 每颗泪都变成珍珠
每盏灯都像许愿的蜡烛 每一天都值得庆祝

芥末巧克力：

芥末巧克力 眼泪一滴 甜蜜无比
放嘴里 滋味霹雳无敌 会上瘾 尝一尝在来一口
甜蜜直达心头 加上芥末 感动能呛到月球
芥末巧克力 耍耍任性 装装甜蜜 101 大声说我爱你
My Honey 你说说可不可以
芥末巧克力 量身特别设计 只为你

失眠的睡美人：

睡美人想着谁想到失眠
空荡荡是你给我的堡垒
我不说只希望你能了解
就算没有王子 想你在身边

睡美人想什么想到失眠
我愿意 拥有公主的眼泪
安静的等着你每一夜
喜欢就是这样 酸酸甜甜 的滋味

i'm kinda lonely

i need to grow stronger and learn to be more independent... in a few days time, the person that used accompany me for so much of my time will be gone and i will be left here alone with too much free time to myself.

i feel like a clown for every single session of the pageant catwalk training. and now we have to learn a dance. it's like teaching a wooden block how to shake. ~argh i just hope i'm not creating trouble for the organizers because they have to like put in more effort to teach me everything. =X

but the makeover and photo shoot last saturday was fun. maybe people are right... i shouldn't have joined in the first place... shaking butts and clubbing all that is so not me... =(

if got people read this anyone want to go rave this saturday to support me?

pageant competition

my gawd/ tonight i'm going to a professional modelling agency to receive proper training to catwalk for the hall pageant thing. i still cannot believe i got shortlisted for it but then again they all already say the hall pageant thing got no standard so anything goes.

last night we had this catwalk training provided by our own seniors first, and throughout the session everyone pageants were like asked to walk up and down and up and down -_-" until everyone also seh~. furthermore the girls had to wear heels that were at least 3" high. oh my gawdy god.

anyway... i think there will be a bash kind of thing at "rave". a club i think. then need to get votes -_-" then i really don't know where to hide my face already. i mean what if like nobody want to vote for you right. so malu~

but the supper after that with the hall 12 people was fun. everyone just literally went crazy!!! our og was the last group to leave the city harvest kopitiam... and we had already missed the last bus. so we siao and walk all the way back to hall: like marching with the same hand and foot, stepping on the slippers of the person in front of you etc...

one thing that kept my mood not too high, i choose not to talk about it =X

foto food

this is my filet-o-fish from last week... nice ain't it? especially the smiley face i drew with ketchup on top. i did it very patiently okay!!! hehe and it's not chili because i can't take hot food. then the photo itself has proof that it is really from McDonald's because got capture the blue word prints on the paper wrapping the burger stating very clearly that it is filet-o-fish. Woahahahaha~ kinda became my favorite foto food so it got onto my desktop to furnish it as wallpaper!


this is my brunch today at hostel after arriving too early for my afternoon lecture. slowly unpack still got so much time. teeheehee... honey stars with pink strawberry milk. in the nice nice melamine bowl with cover i bought from Value$ shop (@ $1.05) and my favorite white color plastic spoon which were used by my siblings and me when we were really young. so it has kind of a long history already. but coincidentally it goes damn well with the color scheme of the melamine bowl leh.

the story of a land...

my Life Science lecturer is a good storyteller too...

Far away from the continents and in the middle of endless ocean lived a land peacefully for hundreds of millions of years. Nature evolved there in a unique system due to complete isolation from the rest of the world. Native species discarded evolutionary adaptations that deter predators. When there is no enemy, why spend money on defense budget?

Snails had no shells; plants had no thorns; birds were not skilful flyers and were happily nested on the grounds; the plants were defenseless because there were no goats, pigs, and deer; the insects were abundant and not aggressive, spending peaceful life in sucking honey from the flowers and in exchange pollinating them; the trees coexisted peacefully because no one wanted to grab the lion share of sunlight.

On this peaceful sun-bathed island came the Polynesian voyagers. The hunters had easy time in killing the flightless birds. Along with the voyagers came some rats hiding in their boats. The rat population flourished on the defenseless ground-nesting birds. In no time the big flightless birds and the small ground-nesting birds were extinct. Recently in 1778, came Captain James Cook with his pet goats who had good time feeding on the native plants. In 1880s, mongoose was brought in to prune the mice and rat populations. Pruned they did indeed, but they also pruned the native birds.

Then came some Argentineans, and along with them came some ferocious ants that had no difficulty in wiping out peace-loving native insects. Pollination suffered, and many plant species became extinct. Along with some Kenyan guests came Jackson’s chameleons, the colorful Kenyan lizards that enjoyed dining on the shell-less snails and insects. Just the other day in 1937 came a group of guests from Tahiti, who brought a beautiful ornamental tree miconia as a gift. Soon the tree was renamed by the locals as ‘green cancer’ because the trees with their dense foliage grabbed the lion share of the sunlight thereby eliminating many small plants and mosses that anchor soil and hold rainwater. As a result, landslides eroded soils from the hillsides to the shallow coral reefs that helped sustaining fish and marine populations.
Do you want to know the name of the land where it happened? This is the true story of the famous islands of Hawaii on the Pacific Ocean.

my hostel room

steady ba... this is pretty much how it looks like after i cleaned up the hostel room and we unpacked. top left is my table empty like anything. whereas mel's table already looks very much occupied. =| i'm a girl with little possessions i guess. ~shrugs and the bottom 2 is obviously our stash while staying here. energy food that keeps us alive for late nights. ~teeheehee

the previous week was the hall orientation that left us totally shag when we return wee in the night. on the first night, mel and i watched her VCD until 4plus am in the morning before any of us felt enough tired to sleep.

then on monday night, i had to rush down to town to meet ting for facial... which left my face with alot of red spots =X but at least now my complexion is so much better ~keke i love my sister =p then when i came back hui was here!!! but we all slept pretty early.
tuesday night i forgot what happened... nananana~
wednesday night got Counterstrike. we were playing with laser gun with missions to complete. my og lost both missions. lol.

thursday was SP night, where we have to reveal the identity of the Secret Pal... i got a pretty nice guy but too bad he was only interested in dota so we didn't have much common topics to talk about. so the thing ended pretty weirdly. ~hem i got my SP to pick flowers for me and then run 5 rounds shouting he loves Daisy. XD because our nick was donald and daisy duck. after that there was fright night at sentosa... which i hated the black ghost sticking his long tongue out and staring at me with so big eyes that seem unfitting on his black oily face... that got my legs turning jelly. by the time i reached hostel, it was already 5 i think. in the day we had lots of beach games at siloso beach leaving many of us with sand abrasions.

then friday i overslept woke up late then join them for games. did not attend the freshmen talk. and left early to meet ivan because it was our anniversary... we had dinner at Pariss International as a punishment for me since i did not prepare any gift for him. the food wasn't exactly all fantabulous though the variety is there and there is alot of seafood.. but because i got selected for the pageant thing i had to be back at night which got ivan kinda crossed as it was too late and we ended up quarreling agn...

We Believe - Good Charlotte

this is a good song, especially the music video. it is very thought provoking especially in the present day world. two thumbs up to the album "The Chronicles of Life & Death".

There’s a woman crying out tonight
Her world has changed
She asks God why
Her only son has died
And now her daughter cries
She can’t sleep at night

Downtown another day for all the suits and ties
Another war to fight
There’s no regard for life
How do they sleep at night
How can we make things right
Just wanna make this right

We believe(x6)
In this love

We are all the same
Human in all our ways and all our pains
(So let it be)
There’s a love that could fall down like rain
(Let us see)
Let forgiveness wash away the pain
(What we need)
And no one really knows what they are searching for
(We believe)
This world is crying for so much more

We believe(x6)
In this love

We believe(x5)
In this love

So this world is too much for you to take
Just lay it down and follow me
I’ll be everything you need
In everyway

We believe(x6)
In this love

In this love
We believe
In this love
We believe
In this love
We believe
In this love