harsh reality

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so many things clouded my 'seeing' the past few days. nah~ it's just a wonder how things and situations can change so abruptly. feel like an idiot.. and i do not know why. i always feel this way though, maybe it is one of those postexam-dilemma syndrome. but then again, how could it even exist? when i look at my friends, they are all itching for the papers to be over; jumping after papers, cheering.. why can't i join in?

i have noticed superficiality. it is everywhere. why did i fail to notice it until now? uncountable people out there only talk about shallow topics. and i am beginning to feel irritated. why? as usual, i do not know. but one thing for sure - the superficiality is attacking my vicinity. and i am unsure how to prevent it from infecting me.

who would help an old lady push her cartful of cardboard boxes? 3 out of 100 maybe, of which 2 did it to impress somebody they like. the world just seem so aloof and distant. fuck those space-shrinking technologies, they do not seem to be helping people build any bridges at all, as they promised to. there is so few who are sincerely willing to reach out to the needys.

or maybe, all this shit is just because i am a bitch. blaming the fucking hell out of everyone else but myself. if u cannot fight, follow. if u cannot follow, complain, which is what i am doing now. all because i am too dumb to learn how to deal with them. ha~