new yr gongyo..crappified~

i dun understand why
n i no longer wish to try to understand
why haf u changed so much?
i've tried holding my temper
i gave way to u
i kept quiet
(sth i'm best at)
but u carried on


u're no longer the person i admired most
the character i looked up to is dead


she nv complained no matter how tough life got
a listening ear alwix der for me
working day in n out to make ends meet


but i guess all lives change
u were not exceptional
u changed along wif the rest of the world
for better or worst
onli u can determine that for urself


the mother bringing 3 kids up on her own
the tough woman who struggled for survival
and most importantly;
the mummy i always turned to
for comfort, advise and warmth
haf now turned into a complete stranger


menopause...
has an effect so tremendous
i no longer like to talk to u
in fact i hate to be around u
whenever i got angry wif u i kept quiet
never defied u but u keep assuming
that it was sth else tt's bothering me
sth tt alwix make me seem as if i'm so petty


i dunno why
dun ask me why
but maybe slowly
i'll get used to it
i'll grow stronger
to make up for dis emptiness
i feel now
deep deep within me




my dad
another guai4 wu4
tries his best to stay out
till nite come back
bath, chant, watch tv, sleep
even on sundays he goes out
to god-knows-where
everyday he comes home
he will definitely ask me
"wei she mo mei you bang wo tang yi?"


basically i didn't mind all dis
cos i felt dat since i stay at home
oso nv do anything so shud help him
but if he's reali so tired
where is he on sundays?
when he can rest at home?


i dun like to complain
but it's onli human to do so
and i am onli a human
so pardon me for showing
dis weak side of me


however i will grow stronger
independent of everyone
2005 shall be a year
to buff myself up
ha~ face up to life
der is no fairy tale reality
onli cold harsh brutality


however u may say
my wings haf harden can fly le
but wad i wan to say is not dis
i jus wan to grow independent
ppl say it's a gud thing
my home is still here


sumtimes i hate myself
for putting on an act in front of ppl
behaving as if everything is alrite
when i'm totally messed up inside


i can't trust ppl
like how everyone else can
sch's starting tml
the act has got to continue
let's wait and see
ACT II >> ACTION